What were your next door neighbors like when you were a child?

Our immediate next-door neighbors were the Lennox’s. Bill and Olga and their kids Susie and Billy. We called Billy Puddy.

Olga was a stay at home mother like my mom and almost all the other moms in the neighborhood. Mr. Lennox worked at an iron factory close by in Cinnaminson New Jersey. When I was a teenager I would wash their car on Saturday morning. It was a blue Chevy, nicer than ours. It would be covered with tiny iron filings from the iron factory where Mr. Lennox worked. I would have to use a Brillo pad to get the iron filings off the windshield.

They were very meticulous and I am very sure of German nationality. Susie was significantly older than my sister Joyce. She was engaged to a guy name Gene. He would come by regularly it his ‘64 white Corvette. One time he gave me a ride in it. I was very lucky for that. I remember Susie slimming down for her wedding and her very lovely wedding dress. She was blonde, and natural blonde!

Puddy was my confirmation sponsor. I have pictures of him and I together before the church at his house. He was a very big guy and very gentle.

One winter it had snowed very deep and I was out romping in the snow. I jumped into a snowdrift and had searing pain was in my upper inner thigh. Puddy was close by and pick me up. Blood squirted from my thigh that was pierced with a branch buried in the snow. It landed onto Johnnie Coyle’s jacket where it instantly froze. He just brushed it off. I was in no immediate danger, at least I thought. Puddy carried me to my house. My dad happen to be home. He called our local doctor and drove me over to his office and where Dr. Leonard Doloff stitched me up. I don’t remember being very frightened about it.

Where did you go on vacations as a child?

 In the late 50s and early 60s we would go to Wildwood and stay at my uncle Gus‘s house often with my aunt Adeline. They are my mom‘s brother and sister. It was a small house close to the beach but it seemed like it was a mile walk across extremely hot sand to get to the water. The only thing I remember about the house is that there was a metal grate in the floor where the heat would come up. I remember crawling over it and being fascinated about what was below.

 In about 1962 my uncle Edward, my mom‘s brother and my most beloved and favorite uncle, bought a duplex on 25th St. in Avalon on the bay. My aunt Adeline and uncle Harry bought a house on the beach block on 21st St the same year.

 There was a massive winter storm in 1962 that caused a lot of destruction at the Jersey shore causing a drop in the properties values. I think my uncle Harry paid $21,000 for a new house on a corner lot on the beach block and uncle Edward paid about $14,000 for an older duplex.

 My parents would rent the right side of the house the duplex. My father’s job at RCA would give the whole plant off two weeks in July and we would rent the duplex for a week or two the remainder of the 60s.

 The house had no phone, TV or air-conditioning. Of course no Internet. There was no TV signal that reached the shore yet. So what the heck did we do? We played pinochle and monopoly.  Of course we spent plenty of time on the beach which was a bit of a walk. We had my cousin Valerie who is about a year and a half older than me and my cousin Ron who is the same age as aunt Joyce and my cousin Hank who is four months younger than me and Hank sister Phyllis who is about four years older than  Joyce so she was out of the mix because of her age.

One year we tried sailing on the bay with these little tiny sailboats we rented. They didn’t even have a place to put your feet. It was like sailing a surfboard. We were constantly flipping the boats over so we were in the water much more than we were out but we loved it so much that my uncle Edward and aunt Adeline bought a Sunfish. My cousin Ron would keep the sunfish in his little garage so it was very convenient to roll it on its wheels and put into the bay one block away. Ron often took me sailing all the way to Wildwood. We would be out all day long.

 Another time I went sailing with my cousin Hank who wasn’t as good or experienced as Ronnie. We went under a bridge on the bay which often is a bit treacherous and flip the boat over and my glasses dropped into the water. I tried my best to retrieve them but I failed. I don’t think I got into any trouble about it but it was very difficult to see until I got a new pair of glasses. I must’ve been about 14.  After that I learned to wear a strap on my glasses.

 I remember vividly one time my cousin Ron took uncle Mark out on the sailboat with a life jacket of course. Uncle Mark was about five or six at a time. Uncle Mark decided it would be a good opportunity to jump off the boat and take a swim without any warning. My aunt Annie and uncle Edward were extremely upset. But Ronnie retrieved uncle Mark and everybody was fine except Uncle Mark was not allowed on the sailboat for a very long time.

 The house was on the western part of the bay so there was a little bridge you had to go over to get to the beach. We would jump off the bridge, including my mom, and float down a couple blocks to a public dock where we would be able to climb up a ladder on  to the dock and jump into the water again. We would watch the tide to make sure that It would take us in the desired direction.

http://thepalumbosofgiuliano.com/Edward/avalon/avalon.htm

How did you feel when your first child was born?

The experience being 38 years ago makes it hard to remember how I felt but looking at the pictures and having the privilege and honor to visit with you immediately after you had your two children helps bring back the feelings and thoughts.

I felt humbled. Awed. Relieved. Happy.

 Which fads did you embrace while growing up?

I was a fan of the Beatles of course but I was not into buying their albums.

What I first remember is listening to the Meet the Beatles album at my aunt Mary’s house on Sundays when we would go visit my mom’s mom. My cousin Barbara was much older than me and likely supplied the new fangled music however my aunt Mary was a beautician and had a small shop in her basement so I’m sure she kept abreast of things with her clients.

My next encounter with the Beatles was when they performed the first time on the Ed Sullivan show. My sister and her friend Jeanie Ott were huddled in my parents bedroom where the black-and-white TV had been placed after we got our color TV. I witnessed them kissing the television.

I was definitely a Neal Young fan and actually spent money to buy his albums. I am a fan still! I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to play his music on my guitar.

I’m going to digress a little here because of a Neal Young memory.

I was a roommate with Neil Gomberg at Rutgers New Brunswick. Other people from my high school class also went to Rutgers New Brunswick including a young lady named Sondra Korman. I remember how at the very beginning of college she showed up to visit Neil and I one day at our dorm room. She looked at my wacky hair grabbed a comb and parted it down the middle. Up to that time it was parted on the side. I kept my hair parted in the middle like that for a very long time.

Tragically on Halloween night freshman year Sondra passed out in her dorm and was brought to the hospital and found to have a very large hemorrhage in her brain related to an aneurysm rupture. She very nearly died but because she was and is a fighter she lived but with a significant  physical deficit but eventually became a lawyer. I bring this up because at the time she was dating a classmate from our high school  who was also a friend of mine. He was going to college locally near home. He would come to visit her while she was in hospital much of the time comatose. I let him stay with me. Since Neil often went home for the weekend we had the extra bed. As a thank you he gave me  a ticket to a Neil Young concert in the Philadelphia Spectrum. What memories!

I had a pair of bell bottom jeans. When they got holes in their knees I would patch them which was definitely a fad at the time. I don’t think they were hip huggers but I wouldn’t swear to it.

I definitely had long hair at the end of high school and the beginning of college with a small ponytail. I remember driving my uncle’s dump truck in the summertime when it was very hot without air conditioning and having my hair tied back to help keep cool.

Madras plaid clothing materials from India were pretty hot and I had a shirt or two.

What is one of your fondest childhood memories?

Until the age of 14 every weekend I would become a little Italian boy.

My mom would do her food shopping at aunt Ernie and uncle Nick’s Italian American grocery store in South Camden next to the house where my mom grew up and where my grandmom and grandpa up still lived. My mom’s oldest brother and older sister also lived in the same South Camden neighborhood one right across the street.

We would visit and aunt Ernie would give us something good to eat and drink. They lived behind the store. The first room you’d enter from the rear of the store was their kitchen and behind the kitchen a little tiny sitting room. The bedrooms were upstairs and only could be reached from a set of stairs towards the front of the store.

Aunt Ernie would let me go into the store which I remember as being very dark and a little scary finding my way to the cold case where I got to pick a soda that I liked bringing it back to the kitchen where everybody still sitting and talking. Coffee was the beverage of choice for the adults.

Before or after the visit to Ernie’s we would be at my Grandmom  and grandpop’s house next-door. Everyone spoke Italian to my grandma and grandpa but my mom would speak to my Grandmom  in English then Grandmom would reply back in Italian which somehow worked. I later learned that was not uncommon with Italian immigrants.

My grandfather would play Italian opera on his 78 record player. The front of grandmom and grand-pop’s house was still a store front but empty with a big glass window overlooking Broadway. The only thing I remember left in there was my Grandmom‘s foot pedal driven sewing machine which faced out onto Broadway. My sister remembers how Grandmom taught her to sow on that sewing machine. My sister became an excellent seamstress.

Aunt Ernie told a story that when she returned with uncle Nick to Italy to visit a lady in the town said how she cried when Grandmom left for America because she had given my grandmom material to make her wedding gown but my grandmom couldn’t finish it because they had to leave to get to the ship in Naples to come to America and how the lady had hoped that the ship would not leave my grandmom would return and finish her dress.

My grandmom and grand-pop DeLaurentis lived in the Delair section of Pennsauken, were separated but lived on the same street, Velde Avenue. On Sunday we would visit them. My grandpop would always make us something good to eat and have something fun to drink usually orange soda to which he would add a little of his homemade wine for the older grandchildren.  My mom would not always come for the visit and was upset when one time uncle Mark came home tipsy because he was sneaking around drinking other peoples wine coolers at the age of five years old.

My grandpop DeLaurentis made his own wine in his basement in large barrels. He would grow some of his grapes but he bought most of them to make the wine. He had large garden. When he died my dad took the winemaking equipment and put it in our basement but he never tried. My grandpa DeLaurentis would make his own sausage and had a sausage making machine which my dad also retrieved but never used. My uncle Nick also made his own wine in his basement below the store. He was also a butcher and would make his own sausage for the store. Where the Palumbo’s lived in South Camden the backyards were extremely small so there was no gardening there.

I know I was very aware of the importance of my extended family because sometime in junior high school I wrote a paper mourning the demise of the extended family in the United States as a general process.

The passing away of my grandparents and my getting older as a young adult moving forward with my own life did not seem to be an emotional hardship until aunt Ernie died. We were very close and she was the last one alive born in Italy.  I was feeling left adrift thinking that my Italian heritage was gone  forever. That’s when I gathered my cousins together at the Wenonah house to have them bring pictures and tell stories. Before that, I obtained the oral histories from aunt Ernie first when I thought she was old at 78 and the second time when she was 90 also showed my need to capture that history.

I was much relieved however when at aunt Ernie’s funeral her son my cousin Angelo gave me the contact information of our distant relatives  still living in Italy and when we got to go there and see that being Italian hadn’t gone away at all. You just have to go back to where they are. Obviously our Italian heritage is very important to aunt Joyce who now lives in Italy at least half the time.

Who have been your closest friends throughout the years?

I once read in a book about Enrico Caruso that stated proximity brings intimacy.

Growing up I was in very close proximity to a lot of kids my age including Fred Gumminger. After starting college Fred I stayed close while on trips to Nova Scotia with Father Peter Sullivan at the end of high school, then to Arizona with Fred hitchhiking for 2 1/2 weeks, then out west with Fred and two of our female friends from college before I started dating mom. You don’t climb into and out of the Grand Canyon in one day with just anybody and Fred was that guy. I recently reconnected with Fred for a brief time and I should get back to him again.

Neal Gomberg and I were friendly in high school but ran with different groups of friends. What a fateful decision to room together at Rutgers. We never ever fought and I never felt any tension between us. Frank Viverito‘s room was right across the hall from ours freshman year. Dorm rooms were not guaranteed sophomore year so Neal and I decided to get an off-campus apartment one block from College Avenue. We wanted Frank to be our third roommate but he decided to take his chances with the dorm lottery and got a room with Jimmy Stewart! John Szoke became our third roommate that sophomore year. Junior and senior year we were able to get on campus apartments. Frank and Neal took one bedroom and I took the other bedroom first with John Szoke, but sadly his father died and returned to leave at home to help support his family. Danny Abraham was the 4th guy senior year. We all got along well but it was Neal, Frank and I that bounded the most. Neal and Frank were very gracious to mom when she came to visit.

Our nuclear family, extended family and work left little time to pursue my friendships with Frank and Neal. We only talk and see each other infrequently but most importantly every time we do it has been as if the last conversation or visit was just the day before. Frank has always put in the most effort, like making a special trip from his home in St. Louis for my 50th birthday and returning there in a snowstorm. I can only foresee that the love and mutually respect we three have for each other will only continue to grow.

Jim Haney and I spent 36 years together at work but also sharing our families younger years together. Now that Jim has retired I hope to continue seeing him. We went through good and difficult times understanding and supporting each other.

Living with someone when you’re young and your brain’s neural connections are still rapidly forming I believe it is possible to get deeper interpersonal connections. So it is with Neal, Frank and I. I believe the same is true for mom I since we were so young when we started out together.

What simple pleasures of life do you truly enjoy?

Sitting on the beach. Walking on the beach.

Reading.

Body surfing!

And all the while being amazed at the gift of life and all the tools God has given us to enjoy it:

taste,smell, vision, touch, hearing, minds to help make sense of it all, language to share experiences with others and grateful that I have had the opportunity to glimpse at it how these things work within us.

What is one of your favorite trips that you've taken? What made it great?

If I frame what’s important in my life with time spent I would say a Family, work and my Italian heritage are the three at the very top on the list.

Therefore our family pilgrimage to the town of my moms parents and ancestors is the most important and memorable. Easter dinner with the Flacco‘s as I said at that dinner table was just like being at my grandmas house where I learned what it meant to be of Italian descent. What an honor and privilege it was to be able to bring my descendants to that same table.

http://thepalumbosofgiuliano.com/Rosalind/Joseph/Vacations/Italy_Belgium/italy_belgium_2003.htm

What do you consider one of your greatest achievements in life?

Having had the opportunity to help raise 4 new unique human beings who would believe it important to ask me these thought provoking questions.

10. What are your favorite possessions? Why?

All our pictures and movies. Also the oral history I obtained from my aunt Ernestine. The oldest being the most viable. I see them I as point in time and space in our history, from where we could draw a line to where we are now and have an idea where we’re going and make adjustments in our direction if necessary.

I am referring to what we believe and value, what we say and do and why we say and do them.

The Palumbo’s 1916 Filomena and Ciriaco my grandparents

Antonio Di Pace. My father’s grandfather, his mother’s dad.

(left to right) Luigi, Marianna, Ornorino, Domenico, Gesuino

The Delaurentis Family Italy circa 1916 right before my grandfather Gesuino came to America age 16.

Giacinto Palumbo my mom’s paternal grandfather who she never meet.

center Leonarda Di Pace, my father’s maternal grandmother.

What television programs did you watch as a child?

We were the first family in the neighborhood to get a color TV in 1964. The older black and white TV wound up in the basement or in my parents room which would be a preferred watching location for us kids especially in the basement.

I am having trouble remembering the shows I watched when I was very young. I remember cartoons on Saturday morning. Pop-eye was a memorable show. There was a show locally out of Philadelphia called the Sally Starr‘s show for Kids but I don’t remember what it was on it. The shows I do remember watching were a little later in my life as noted below.

Star Trek was a favorite which came on at 8 PM on Friday. I remember watching it in our basement with a bunch of my neighborhood friends.

Sunday night was the Ed Sullivan show. I remember so clearly watching my sister and her friend Jeanie Ott watching the Beatles on the television was in my parents room and I caught a sneak peek of my sister and Jeanie kissing the television when Paul McCartney‘s face appeared.

The Walt Disney show was also on Sunday night and a Favorite. When I was watching it was hosted by Walt Disney himself.

    There was also Bonaza another Sunday night TV show. It was a western.

When I was a little older I would often stay up late with my mom during the summertime and watched the Late Show which showed movies after the 11 o’clock news or the Johnny Carson show which also came on at 11:30. That was before I started working in the summer when I was 15 and 16 but I might’ve restarted that when I came home from The pizza place I worked in the summer during college which closed at 11 PM.

12. What inventions had the biggest impact on your day-to-day life?

Computers! Especially in medical imaging.

When I first started medical school in 1976 medical imaging consisted of regular x-rays shooting through somebody being captured on film on the other side and the film being developed much like camera film is developed.

When I started radiology training we were one of the first hospitals to have a CAT scan which only can run because of computers doing huge calculations to generate 3-D images from the x-rayed patient. At the same time ultrasound was developed which uses the transmission of sound waves into and out of the patient being analyzed by detectors and needing computers to generate the images. MRI uses computers to do calculations to figure out and generate images produced through electro magnetic fields generated in and out of patients . So we can see a whole lot more in a patient now in amazing amount of detail that was not possible with regular old x-ray when I started my medical career. We still have regular old x-rays but the images are post processed by computers so that the image quality is improved to be a great degree.

And now that they are digital they can be moved around on the Internet.

Unfortunately that made radiologist who just read films a commodity because the radiologist could be anywhere. Anonymous people reading films which happens all the time now.

For radiologist who do procedures like myself and uncle Mark we are not replaceable by someone reading x-rays 7000 miles away. We interact with patients and treat them with respect and compassion.

Allow me to give you a bonus story.

Aunt Thelma told me the following things one beautiful summer day on the beach in Atlantic City between our swims together in the ocean when she instructed me which waves were the best to take for body surfing. I will tell her story in the first person.

Daddy was the captain of the lifeguards in Atlantic City and therefore knew a lot of people. He got the job of city clerk and was in charge of the script that was used as payment instead of money by the city during the depression. He decided to run for city council but he was at odds with the powers in the democratic party in the city at that time. So even though he was very popular he lost the election and since he did not play the role desired by the democratic party he was blackballed from employment in New Jersey. He could not find a job in all New Jersey during World War II.

He had to take a job in the shipyard in Delaware and commute from Atlantic City to Delaware. After that he had to take a job in Florida at the race track that you’ve heard stories about. We lost our big family home on Tallahassee Avenue. Mom and I and my sisters had to move into a boarding house in Atlantic City. I had to share a bed with my mother.

Daddy would send us money from Florida. When I got to high school I dropped out but I did not tell mommy. I took a job as a telephone operator at Bell telephone. I would leave in the morning and go to work and not tell mommy. I worked two shifts and I would hang out with my friends in Atlantic City.

Tell me about one of the best days you can remember.

The best day I can remember was the day I stood speechless in front of my mom in the foyer of my house, her presence intensifying the emotions welling up inside me. I wanted to tell her but I could not find the words. My mom, her concerned piercing blue eyes laser focused on mine said, “Joe, What’s wrong? Talk to me!” I finally could say, “Mom, the baby, she was born”.

14. What is one of your go-to stories, one you like telling over and over?

I would like to give you two, both from my aunt Ernestine. The stories themselves are life lessons.

I always felt that I had a special relationship with her. The fact that she would tell me the stories helps confirm that belief.

I’m going to tell them in the first person as she told them to me. I have told them many times not long after she told them to me so I believe they are accurate.

The first story to she told me three times exactly the same and I repeated it to my mom who said that was how she heard too.

“When we were first married Nick would drink too much and he would beat me. We had a gun in the store. One time after it happened Nick was in the bathroom. I opened the door. He was sitting on the toilet. I pointed the gun at him and said ‘if you ever touch me again I will kill you.’ Nick said ‘Ernie, the gun, it’s loaded.’ I said ‘I know.’

After that, everything was good. The women would come into the store and complain about their husbands. Nick would say ‘it’s their own fault.’

It was the day after and Ernestine‘s 96th birthday and she was lying in bed very debilitated in the nursing home. I came into her room and sat down and looked into her face and she looked at me and started to cry. She stopped crying and told me the following.

A man is no good anymore after 50.

Nick was a very sexy man. When he was 50 he fell down the stairs. The doctors put them on medicine and he couldn’t get it hard anymore. I told him ‘I won’t let it bother me if you don’t let it bother you.’

She died the next day.

Aunt Thelma told me this story on the beach in Atlantic City 25 or 30 years ago. I will tell it in the first person.

When we lived on Tallahassee Avenue daddy was the county clerk. It was the depression and he was in charge of giving out the script. He decided to run for city council against the wishes of the Democratic machine in Atlantic City. He lost the election. He was blackballed in all of New Jersey. It was now the time of World War II and he could not of find a job in New Jersey. He eventually got a job in Florida at a racetrack . He would mail us money. We lost the house and had to move into a boarding house in Atlantic City. I shared a bed with my mom. I was supposed to be going to high school but I got a job working as an operator at Bell telephone. I would get up in the morning and pretend to go to school and hang out with my friends until it was time to go to work.

15. What advice would you give your great grandchildren?

Be wary of any specific advice from anyone!

You are a unique person in a unique time and place with other unique people around you who have never been on the earth before.

You know yourself better than anyone else.

Given the above however I think the following could be helpful.

Learn history. Learn the history of your family and how they dealt with life and how things turned out for them.

Do your best, but not at the expense of your mental and physical well-being, or at the expense of taking care of your loved ones.

You will never regret doing well in school.

My father‘s father who came from Italy with nothing but the shirt on his back when he was 16 said this to my aunt Jean “Gina, doya the best ya can”

16. What are some of your special talents?

Problem solving on the fly. The following are two examples.

I had just packed up my apartment at the end of sophomore year at Rutgers. I was headed to the New Jersey Turnpike on George Street which runs from the Rutgers campus to the Douglas campus. I saw a student at an empty gas station looking distressed . I stopped and she said her car broke down. I took her to her car and opened the hood. The radiator hose had a hole in it. I took a screwdriver and detached it from the radiator. I took a knife and cut off the part with the hole. There was still plenty of hose left so I reattached it and she was good to go. We were both very pleased.

It was a summer that Mom and I were dating and we had just come back from a little camping trip we took somewhere in New Jersey and stopped at my house. My parents were out. There was a funny sound coming from the basement. I went down and saw a leaking pipe. My father had repaired something in a way that led to a leak out of a seal he had rigged. The basement was flooded. I easily fixed the hole and stop the leak. But now how to get the water out of the basement? Ah ha! A siphon! I brought one end of a garden hose into the basement through the basement window. I had to have the other end of the hose lower than the basement so I open the manhole in front of the house and put that end of the hose below the street level. I filled the hose from the basement sink. I then quickly put the open end of the hose into the water on the basement floor. It sucked every last drop of water out of the basement.

17. What are some choices you made about how to raise me?

I believe so many decisions are pre-ordained by our basic beliefs.

First, where to live. Mom and I in our hearts knew we wanted to live close to our families.

There was never a question or needed discussion If we were going to have more than one child flowing from our experiences of what family life was about.

Our desire of passing on our shared Christian beliefs motivated the choice of catholic schools for your education.

As for the philosophy guiding what I do and what I say in our every day interactions I hope I continue to do my best to emulate my moms. “I let them be who they are.” Her reply to Linda’s question on my 60th birthday.

18. If you could thank anyone, who would you thank and why?

One of the most difficult questions so far.

I would like to thank everyone who has shown kindness, patience, self control, a minimum of selfishness, and made efforts not to be a burden.

Why? Because it’s difficult.

19. What things matter are most to you in life?

Keeping our identity as a family. For me I think living out the traits of the people I would like to thank most in my life (listed in answer to the last question) could be the best way I can contribute in that effort.

20. What is the farthest you have ever traveled?

Our family trip to Beijing China was the furthest distance I have ever traveled and the most foreign culture and society I have ever experienced.

That trip is well chronicled on our family website and on a DVD I made . By that time in my life I was a well seasoned traveler.

It was my trip to the Southwest with Fred Gumminger in 1973 that was the most shocking to my senses especially considering I was an inexperienced and naïve 19 year old. The year before Fred and I went on a camping trip to Nova Scotia but had Father Peter Sullivan as our leader. In

Arizona we were very much on our own and in charge of our own destiny. No cell phones in 1973.

The most notable portion of the trip was our hike into the Grand Canyon and out in one day, a total of 26 miles, one mile straight down and one straight up, undoubtedly the furthest I had ever went on foot in one day. The trails started at the south rim and went down on the east side and up on the west side making a giant circle. Knowing what I know now it was at once the most ridiculously stupid and best thing I ever did.

We had no idea of the physical and mental challenge that we under took in such a blasé fashion only taking some chocolate, cheese and water with us. We didn’t make it out till night time. I suppose I was in the survival mode when I kept plodding along 1 foot in front of the other despite Fred having stopped when we were pretty close to the top. Somehow I found my way to the campsite in the dark. Fred arrived one hour later. I’ve never heard a word out of Fred that he might hold it against me that I didn’t wait for him.

21. What stories have you been told about yourself as a baby?

On the day I was born, January 23, 1954, my mom said it was a very warm and there were lightning and thunderstorms.

The day of my mom’s dad’s burial was so stormy the burial had to be postponed to the following day.

My mom said I didn’t start talking until I was three. She surmised I didn’t have anything important to say until then.

I don’t remember hearing many other stories about me. It is a completely different matter for my brother Mark. Those who know him well would not be surprised to hear that.

One day my aunt Jean was visiting my mom. From upstairs there came a sound, screech screech screech. My aunt Jean asked, Rose what’s that noise? My mom replied, it’s just mark moving his crib. My brother would stand up in his crib which was in my mom and dad‘s room and he would move the crib across the floor by holding onto the railing and giving it a quick shove, one after the other and moving him and the crib across the hard wood floor making the screeching sound. Aunt Jean told me this story.

I told this earlier but it’s worth mentioning again. My dad‘s dad made his own wine in his basement. As you know in Italy there is no real age barrier for drinking wine. My grand pop would give us young people a little bit of wine mixed with soda. I suppose he was first out of a blocks with wine spritzers. My mom told me when my dad, myself and uncle Mark came home after a visit with my grand pop she found 5 year old uncle Mark to be tipsy because he snuck sips of wine out of other peoples glasses. That never happened again!

22. What did you read as a child?

I remember reading if the Hardy boys novels and Jules Verne around the world in 80 days and 30,000 leagues under the sea. Because my immediate neighborhood consisted of 33 row homes on one and a half city blocks full of baby bombers with a total of approximately 20 girls and boys plus or -1 1/2 years on either side of my age we spent most of our time playing outside or inside someone’s house. There was no such thing as lonely in my neighborhood. Instead of reading the summer of my 15th year I spent it in my bedroom teaching myself how to play the guitar.

23. What have you changed your mind about over the years?

I vividly remember standing with mom in the very little kitchen of our West Orange apartment soon after we were married. How we got into the conversation about God I don’t know, but I remember saying that God is just a side effect of our brains and intelligence.

I can’t be 100% sure that I believed what I was saying but I certainly don’t believe that now. Having lived with the miracle of life and seen life come from nothing except the power of creation itself has made the difference.

John Paul II said “Jesus Christ is historical fact.“

I am ok with that thought. It is helping me across ‘the threshold of hope.’

24. What are your favorite memories of each of your children growing up?

Lisa

Regina, a little over one year old, was sitting in her highchair at the kitchen table. I poured her a glass of milk in a kids plastic cup and filled it to about a third of the way because kids spell things. It was not a sippy cup. When I finish pouring her milk she became agitated and shook her body quickly back-and-forth in the frustration of knowing what she wanted but not knowing how to say it. Lisa, age 9, without a word, took a skinny kids cup and poured the milk from one glass into the other so that the skinny cup was now filled to the top. Regina became very calm and happy and drink her milk.

Teresa

She loved her reading and would read everywhere including in the peach tree where I think she got some quiet time from her siblings.

After our long plane ride to China how excited I was to see Teresa jumping up and down at the arrival gate so she could lead us through that foreign land. I told her remember when you were a child I said’ please hold daddy ‘s hand I don’t want you to get lost. Now, please hold daddy‘s hand very tight he doesn’t want to get lost.’

Steve

I have a coworker who calls her son “Mr. No!”

She would have named Steve “Mr. Why?”

“Why daddy, why?“ was a frequent phrase I heard from Steve. I hope I did my best to provide answers and hope I did my best at being patient with all of his curiosity.

At a parents night at Saint Joe’s Prep I found out that curiosity would be an enduring quality. We got to meet Steve’s biology teacher Mrs. Brown. She said Steve’s why’s would prompt her to teach the advanced placement curriculum that she did not intend for his regular biology class.

I am particularly fond of my memories our father son ski trips to Killington Vermont and Steamboat Springs Colorado.

Regina

It’s winter and we were going to church. Regina was in her fancy gray wool coat and hat. Very young, maybe two. We’re pulling out in the Volvo and I say to the older siblings “Is the baby buckled? Could somebody please buckle the baby.” Regina, “I’m not a baby. I’m Regina!”

25. What are your favorite songs?

Have yourself a merry little Christmas song by Frank Sinatra.

Sinatra had said that he did not sing a song that he did not feel. I heard that quote only recently. No matter how many times I hear it I feel the melancholy and the conflicting emotions that only Sinatra adds to my experience using his inflections, phrasing and other communication magic. Aunt Joyce did not have the same experience when I asked her to listen to it, though I thought she might having had similar childhood experiences.

It was one of the songs that we participated with at the Saint Margaret’s 1990 Christmas concert. I played the guitar while Maureen sang the words and Pat Pendergrast play piano. We just listened. I did not put that part on the movie I recently posted.

I came across the Sinatra version on a Sinatra Christmas CD that my dad had at his appointment in Haddon Township.

What’s new, sung by Linda Ronstadt gives me a similar experience as to the Sinatra experience noted above.

26. Do you have any particularly vivid memories of your grandparents?

Filomena Palumbo

While my grandmother still lived in Camden we would visit regularly. I vividly remember her sitting at the bottom of the steps that lead upstairs holding my brother Mark on her knee when he was about nine months old. She bounced them up and down singing in Italian something that had the following’ Ching a da Ching a Ching.’ Uncle Mark was no less lively at nine months than he is now and he was all aglow smiling and probably laughing too. She was about 78.

I vividly remember my mom talking on the phone for at least an hour at a time with her mom. I was always perplexed how they could have a conversation since my mom could not speak any Italian and my grandma could not speak any English. I latter read that this was very common, that though the grandparents could not speak English they could understand it very well and would answer back in Italian. The opposite with my mom. She could understand Italian very well but could not speak it.

My grandma would call us grandchildren Grandmom.

Gesuino DeLaurentis

I remember my father‘s father very well because he was much younger than my mom‘s parents having been born about the same time as my mom‘s older sister Ernestine.

I already mentioned him putting soda and wine together for us grandchildren. Incidentally, non of my cousins are alcoholics.

He would always have something ready for us to eat or make something for us when we arrived . I vividly remember him so cooking a chicken leg and thigh in a cast-iron skillet with olive oil and a little bit of red pepper. Boy was that delicious.

He had smoked sausages literally hanging around his house over doorways.

It wasn’t long ago that I have been wearing my Notre Dame war cap for the whole winter and I started noticing an odor coming from it that was very familiar when suddenly it dawned on me that it was what my grandpop smelled like.

My dad and my grandpa got into a little bit of a disagreement during one visit. My dad was ready to leave and then I got my first Italian lesson because my grandpa said holding out his hands with his palm down as one would do to slow someone down and said ‘Domenic, aspet ’. Which means wait. Otherwise I don’t remember him speaking a whole lot of Italian.

My grandfather‘s personality was changing slightly. We came to visit and he was sitting with his right leg up against the radiator and said ‘Dominic my leg she’s asleep’. Other symptoms occurred. We had an amazing family doctor Dr. Leonard Doloff. My grandpop was at our house and Dr. Dolloff came and examined him. My grandpop went up and down independently on each leg and he tested my grandpa‘s biceps strength and he said you’re a strong as a bull. Unfortunately the symptoms progressed as it turned out to be a brain tumor which took them very quickly.

27. Did you consider any other careers? How did you choose?

I think our family Leonard Doloff MD, who I mentioned in the prior story about my grandfather was a very excellent role model for me.

I know I wanted to be a physician while I was in high school because my physics and math teacher Vincent Quarissima, who took me under his wing, wanted me to do pure science. He even took me to a science conference at the Worcester Institute of Technology and then on to visit MIT, which of course I did not get into. He was disappointed to hear me tell him that I wanted to be a doctor of medicine.

When I started Rutgers college I entered as a premed. When I discussed this with my sister Joyce, who had just graduated Rutgers in Camden, she said ‘oh well that’s very fine and well that you want to be a doctor but I have a lot of friends who were premed and can’t get into medical school and can’t get a job’. So the fall of my freshman year I took a bus to the engineering building and ask them if I could switch into chemical engineering. I was taking all the right courses for first year engineering already so I switched. I knew I could get a job if I couldn’t get into medical school.

The answer is I never wanted to be anything but a medical doctor.

I really didn’t know what specialty I wanted to practice. I thought the ER would be good because of more or less predictable hours so I did an ER rotation. The doctor there told me he got no respect. I didn’t like that idea. I thought I would really like to be a pediatrician since I really do love children. I did a rotation at Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia and found being around very sick children was just too emotionally difficult for me.

So I signed up for internal medicine trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I did a senior year rotation in radiology at Saint Barnabas medical center which happened to be right across the street from where we lived. I saw that the radiologists received a lot of respect from the referring physicians who would come down and ask for their opinions. I also saw that they were going home at 5 o’clock instead of seven or 8 o’clock at night. I was very lucky to get an excellent residency in Philadelphia at Albert Einstein northern division.

28. Who had the most positive influence on you as a child?

My mom's brother my uncle Edward.

My uncle Edward and aunt Annie lived in Haddon Heights and owned a little grocery store in Kings Highway. They had a fairly large storefront for those days and lived in the back in a tiny little living room and a small kitchen. The upstairs had a bunch of bedrooms. Their children were Ronnie and Val. Ronald was my sister Joyce's age and Valerie was one year older than me.

I have detailed our vacations with them in Avalon on the first question I was asked where did you go on vacations as a child?

During the summers my cousin Valerie and my aunt Annie would stay in Avalon the whole time. My uncle Edward and my cousin Ronnie would work the store Monday through Saturday afternoon taking Wednesdays and Sundays off. When I was 15 my uncle Edward had me come live and work with them for a large part of the summer. I would be given the most dirty disgusting jobs and got paid one dollar an hour. I would've worked for nothing to be around my uncle Edward. I loved him so much. He was so much a Palumbo like my mom. He taught me how to work and work as a team and enjoy each others company. He did not spare Ronnie or myself any of the difficult work. He definitely knew how to delegate.

Two of the more disgusting jobs I remember performing was cleaning out maggot infested trash cans and cleaning out the bottom of the produce case where so much of the vegetable matter made it to the catch tray at the bottom where who knows what was it's growing inside it.

Uncle Edward would have a side of beef delivered to his store just like in the movie the Irishman. He had a walk-in refrigerator where the big side of beef hung. He would butcher it as needed. He made his own sausage. His particular forte was breakfast sausage. The store was full of canned goods and fresh vegetables and fruit. There was a freezer which held at Abbotts ice cream, perhaps my uncles dietary weakness. He did become a bit of a diabetic later in life but lost a lot of weight to kept it under control like my aunt Ernestine. Diabetes does run in the Palumbo side a bit.

Not only did he know how to run a store, he knew how to treat his customers. He was so handsome and always so pleasant and helpful. If I were one of the ladies I would have come to buy things just to see him and talk to him.

Oh, boy did we eat well. What a fantastic memory I have of uncle Edward cutting off a thin slice of fresh beef, frying it in olive oil and putting it on a fresh Italian Kaiser roll with a jersey fresh tomato and onion. Nothing ever tasted so good!

He also taught me how important play is in life. At the end of the Saturday afternoon we would drive to the Avalon. He had a outboard motor boat. It was called Val-Ron. He would love to go fishing from the boat and surf fish off the beach. Ron and I would sail. Valerie was an avid surfer and loved to listen to the Beach boys. We would play for handed pinochle at night since there was nothing else to do when the sun went down. No TV. The TV signals could not reach Avalon from their perch on the hill in Roxborough.

I went up to the casket at his funeral very sad, then turning around to find a seat I saw my cousin Ronnie who I had not seen for a long time. I went to him and hugged him and we both cried and cried and cried. I heard aunt Annie say "how he loved his uncle!”

29. Are you still friends with any of your friends from high school? How have they changed since then?

I have totally lost contact with high school friends that were only high school friends and not friends before or after high school . For about 15 years we were having high school reunions and I would very much enjoy seeing those people. An easy way to get stay in touch would be through Facebook. I last did that 10 years ago but not since then. I think I will probably do it again.

I have already talked about my best friends through the years. I first met in high school Neal Gomberg however since we roomed together for four years in college so I would put him in a whole separate category.

I did get to witness a surprising and pleasant change in one of my high school classmates at the 10 year reunion at Braddock's Tavern. A very handsome African-American couple walked in. The tall handsome well-dressed and well spoken gentlemen looked down at me and sayed 'oh Joe, great to see you. How are you? I didn't recognize him. He said ‘Brian, Brian Deshields. Brian Deshields was in my homeroom for three years. He was a pleasant easy going baby faced petit African-American guy. 10 years later, a tall very handsome lawyer.

30. How is life different today compared to when you were a child?

Proximity.

Family: My 40 aunts and uncles all lived within no more than 20 minute drive until my aunt Dora moved to Ohio in 1964. Otherwise the furthest we would ever have to drive would be to Blackwood which I thought it was on the other side of the world when I was a kid.

Friends: My friends were all within a two block radius until high school. My new high school friends where were no more than a couple miles away perhaps. Fred Gumminger expanded my friends to his Camden catholic high school friends, the most distant lived in Cherry Hill.

Work: My dad worked in downtown Camden which was a 15 minute drive and only a couple miles away. Many of my aunts and uncles and my grandfather Palumbo lived and worked in the same house. I always thought it would be good for the whole family to have both parents on the premises. Lisa and Nick are finding that out now. What a blessing to have two parents and even more so to have them both close by. Jesus Christ himself needed a mother and a father. His father likely worked in the same quarters where they lived. No problem finding a second person to encourage, help or discipline the children.

School: grammar school was three blocks away, junior high school was less than a mile away and high school was about a mile away. Of course we walked.

Communication speed.

If I wanted to communicate with any of my friends or classmates they were right there. No need to telephone, our only form of communication other than writing a letter.

In the college dorms there was only one telephone at the end of the hallway so there was little chance to call home or anywhere else. When mom and I were dating we wrote letters. I saved all of those from mom.

When Fred Gumminger and I flew to Phoenix Arizona and hitched hiked around for 3 weeks I never called home once. I did write one postcard to my mom and dad which I found when we moved my dad out of our house in Camden. I have it still.

How fortunate that our present speed of communication helps counterbalance our living and working at such distances.

Children’s sports participation and televised sports did not rule the family. Life revolved around school, work and the extended family.

31. What was your Mom like when you were a child?

Rosalind DeLaurentis was accepting and welcoming.

Accepting. I don’t ever remember having a quarrel with my mother. When at my 60th birthday gathering with uncle Mark, aunt Jamie, Linda and myself Linda asked Rose ‘you have these two amazing sons. How did you do it? What’s your secret? My mom’s reply ‘I let them be who they are.’

It’s others peoples comments that make me certain that was my mom’s way.

My Aunt Jean told me the story(previously mentioned) how when visiting my mom she heard the screech screech sound coming from upstairs and and asked ‘what’s that sound Rose?’ My mom replied ‘it’s just Mark moving the crib across the floor.’ During his nap my brother would stand in his crib and push on the side rail moving the crib slightly with each little push. My Aunt Jean’s comment to me showed her amazement at my moms acceptance of marks behavior.

Another story about Mark from Vince Schaeffer. I ran into Vince at work having not seen him for many years. We did not have much time to talk but he wanted to talk about my mom and how he was amazed how she didn’t react to Marks talking back to her. Vince said if he talked like that his mom he would not be alive. Vince said ‘your mom didn’t react and just let it roll off her back’ as he took his hand and motion down the back of his head down his back like water running off a ducks back. I said to him ‘isn’t that is an interesting? Guess who she’s living with.’

Rose would communicate so much with her eyes and her looks.

Her love was communicated through her eyes and smile. Mom was not very physical. None of the Palumbo’s were very physical. I told you about my uncle Edward who would used his eyes to communicate his love. My mom and uncle Edward were very similar that way.

When my father was mean to her mom did not fight back with words or actions. She would give a very piercing penetrating stare that communicated to me what she was thinking and feeling. I imagine we children got the same stare when needed.

Welcoming

During his homily at my moms funeral Father Pilarz related how he and the rest of my brothers high school friends felt so welcome during visits to my house.

Father Peter Sullivan said how he felt so welcomed visiting at my mom and dad’s house during his homily at our wedding mass.

My neighborhood friends were often at my house as these included pictures show. We would hang out, play games or watch TV often in the basement. Uncle Mark and his friends watched Dr. Shock. I would watch Star Trek with mine.

Only later when we were in high school we would gather in Vince Schaeffer’s basement after he got a pool table. Otherwise it was at our house. Even gathering outside was on the the retaining wall in front of our house. It was prime real estate because we had a shady tree to sit under in the summertime and it was just the right height for a seat. Armando Scerrato once said ‘I’m wearing a groove where I sit on this wall.’

Mary Ellen(my uncle Bobby’s long time significant other) just two days ago related how she felt so welcomed by my mom who would ask Mary Ellen to sit next to her at the DeLaurentis gatherings.

When I was young and had the time I would just want to hang out with my mom in her kitchen.

In my middle years when there was not much time I would make a special trip to visit my mom in Easton Maryland and spend the day often around Mother’s Day just hanging out going to lunch and dinner.

When I was older and had the time I would go to uncle Mark and aunt Jamie’s house and hang out with my mom in the basement or outside. I just wanted to be close to her.

In those later years I got to understand my mom better since she would tell me things she hadn’t before. She didn’t always like everybody that she welcomed. I’m guessing she did it for everyone else’s benefit.

Still water runs deep.

Uncle Mark’s Eulogy

http://thepalumbosofgiuliano.com/Rosalind/marks_eulogy.htm

32 What was your Dad like when you were a child?

A very vivid memory I have is the following.

When I was very young I would like climbing into bed with my parents on weekends mornings . My father would hug me and rub me on my cheek with his rough unshaven face. It was like that with many things with my father. Pain and pleasure kind of all mixed up. It did not stop me from going back the next weekend.

I can’t think of a better way to describe life with my father.

Only in retrospect can I say that it was a pretty good life lesson for a little kid to take with him to his grown-up years.

My father always seemed to be studying. He went away for courses for RCA and studied for RCA at home. He wanted get his college degree. He worked so hard at it going to Rutgers Camden at night. Good things came out of that I did not expect. He would bring home ice cream on his way home from my class. He wrote very personally revealing papers for English 101 some of which I have placed on his webpage.

My father was very frugal in almost everything but did not spare money for education or tools to educate oneself. We were the only family in the the neighborhood with a telescope, microscope, piano, trumpet, guitar, tape recorder a full set of Britannica encyclopedia. Our basement was filled with electronics and testing equipment.

He saved money in accounts in our name. When I turned 18 he handed over my PSFS bank account with $8000 . He said this your college money. No more after this.

But that was not the last of the money I received for my education. Not long ago on uncle Mark‘s porch in Ocean City I was chatting with my mom who told me when I got into medical school I did not have the money to start school because I was accepted in the middle of the summer. I asked my parents to help me. My mom said that my father was very reluctant to lend or give me the $5000 that I needed. She told him ‘our son is going to be a doctor! If you do not give him the $5000 I will never speak to you again.’ So only later in life as I mentioned in my mom‘s story did I know about her role in the financing.

Though education was highly honored in our home it did not trump family. I say this because when I was in junior high school Lawrenceville high school tried to recruit me to go there, I guess to be a token poor boy from Camden with all the rich people. My father turn down the offer. He did not want me to be away from home.

He entrusted me with complicated house work when I was pretty young. When I was 15 he had me take all the outside window frames off including the storm windows scrape and repaint the window frames and put the storm window and their casings back on caulking them into place. I also painted the bathroom. I put on so many coats of paint that it didn't need to be painted again for another 25 years. I guess my dad had confidence in me.

If only had he been kind to my mom ....

Mark’s Eulogy http://thedelaurentisofcollevirtu.com/dominick/marks_eulogy.htm

33 What was your first boss like?

My first boss was my uncle Edward as I have already explained. I had some little jobs it after that.

I worked at Nick‘s Pizza on Marlton Pike in Camden right off of Route 130 the three summers between my freshman and senior years at college.

I found the job in the newspaper. I presented myself as someone with kitchen skills which was true because I worked with my cousin Ronnie in a little restaurant in Avalon for a month and then worked in the kitchen and Bamberger’s in the The Cherry Hill Mall, now Macy’s and in Burger King. I presented myself in the summer and did not tell him that I was going to leave at the end of the summer for college.

His name was Alexander Palumbo. No relation to our Palumbo ‘s. He was about 40, curly hair, handsome, chiseled chin with a trim but strong frame. He had familiar Italian mannerisms which I think that helped us understand each other better. He was married with three young kids. He recently bought a home in a new development in Cherry Hill and just put in a pool. He was very annoyed that there was a town ordinance that you had to put a cement barricade below the fence around your pool because somebody’s dog dug under their neighbors fence and drowned in the pool.

I usually worked from 5 PM to 11 PM. Al worked lunch shift which was when he made most of his business. He appreciated having someone showing up every night on time so he could go home to his family. He was a very hard worker. I worked very hard for him too and gained his respect. I would get paid in cash. I made three dollars an hour.

One of his other workers who is there much longer than me seem to be somewhat in charge. One time she offered to pay me(all other times Al paid me) and asked me how many hours I worked and how much I made per hour. I told her and she paid me.

The next day in a very familiar Italian way Al looked at me and said ‘Joe I only pay her $2.50. When she told me that you said you got paid three dollars an hour I told her you made a mistake’. I continued to make three dollars an hour and thereafter was only paid by Al.

Towards the end of my 1st summer there I finally told him I was going to go to school and he looked at me somewhat disappointed and said OK Joe. I didn’t return until the day I got home from spring semester. I walked through the back door into the kitchen and said “Al?" Al turned around and said "come at five.” That was the entire conversation and was the start of my second summer there.

Al was forgiving. One time I thought I was clever and put olive oil on the pizza pans and put them in the oven to cure them. I didn't tell Al. That night we were working together and the pizzas started sticking to the pans, the opposite of what I thought. Al look perplexed. I felt really bad and told him what I did. He just made a little face, shrugged and said OK and proceeded to rub a piece of pepperoni on the pizza pans before stretching the doe on the next pan which did the trick. He never brought it up again and did not ever seem to be angry at me about it at all.

One day when I arrived he said "hey Joe I gave the girls a party today. I bought a bottle of champagne, put cups on the counter and I started pouring the champagne. All the girls(the waitresses) gathered around and said Al this is great. Thanks for the party. What's the party for? I said 'it's a firing party. You're fired, you're fired and you're fired." He told me he caught them stealing from him. They would throw the order slips in the trash and pocket the money. Perhaps he recognized and appreciated my honesty. I never took one piece of salami from them. I was allowed to take home a leftover pizza or a cheesesteak that someone didn't pick up. I was pretty tired pretty of looking at cheesesteaks and pizzas but my mom would appreciate a cheesesteak every once in a while when I got home.

34 What were your favorite toys as a child?

Building toys.

I have a very strong memory of laying in the middle of our living room floor building a church with wooden blocks. The wooden blocks had red rectangle, blue square, yellow cylinder. There was also a rectangle but I do not remember its color. Likely green.

I graduated to a building set called girder and panels. it was made of plastic. The girders were like the steel beams in the sky scraper and the panels for the outside windows. You can Google them and see what they look like. I just did. It’s the same as I remember!

After that I graduated to the Erector Set. It was composed of little flat steel beams with holes spaced throughout and little nuts and bolts and other pieces. You could add a motor and make a drawbridge. It was very cool. You can find out what it was all about on Wikipedia. I just did.

35 What fascinated you as a child?

I was most fascinated with being close to and interacting with all the members of my extended families which there were very many. I always wanted to go to the visits and celebrations.

36 What are your favorite recipes, either to cook or to eat?

I clearly remember calling my aunt Ernestine from our house on Tarlton court when I wanted to make my first batch of escarole soup. It was one of my memorable conversations with her.

Escarole soup.

In a large pot bring to boil a whole small chicken celery, carrots and onions. When the chicken is done(30-40 minutes) take it out and let it cool. While the chicken is cooling wash and cut up 3 bunches of escarole. Cut up the entire chicken into small pieces. Now cook the escarole until it’s wilted but not dark green. Throw in the chicken and meatballs and reheat untill it is just about at a boil.

Meatballs

In a large broiling pan place ground beef/pork/veal mix. Two eggs for each package of meat. Crushed garlic, chopped fresh Italian parsley, salt, pepper, at about 1 cup locatelli cheese for each package of meat, breadcrumbs and milk. Some people soak the breadcrumbs in the milk prior to adding them. Mix everything together but not for too long because it will make the meatballs too firm. Roll and cook at a high temperature In the oven (450) preferably convection bake on baking sheet preferably aluminum. No need to turn them over. The meatballs could be fried as an alternative but I find that to be too labor-intensive. If some of the meatballs are being used for escarole soup make them very small. If you forget to make them very small you can always cut up a regular size meatball to use in the soup.

Chocolate Velvet Cake

1 (6 ounce) package semi-sweet chocolate morsels (1 cup)

1/4 cup water

2 1/4 cups sifted cake flour

1 tsp baking soda

3/4 tsp salt

1 3/4 cup sugar

3/4 cup soft butter

1 tsp vanilla

3 eggs (at room temp)

Combine morsels, 1/4 cup water in saucepan and stir over low heat until melted and smooth.

Sift flour, baking soda, salt set aside

Combine in bowl: sugar, butter, vanilla and beat until well-blended

Add eggs 1 at a time, beat well

Blend in melted chocolate mixture. Stir in flour mixture, alternate with 1 cup water.

Pour into 2 greased and floured 9 in layer cake pan

Bake 375 for 30-35 minutes

Icing

1 Pint heavy cream

1 cup sifted confectioners sugar

1/2 cup sifted Hershey's cocoa

1 teaspoon vanilla

Combine and slightly mix ingredients in mixing bowl and put into refrigerator for one hour to cool. Then whip until fluffy and light

37 What was something you were surprised to learn when you moved out from your parents' house?

Looking back I am pleasantly surprised that I was very self-sufficient when I moved out on my own. I was never homesick. I don’t remember feeling stressed that I was incapable of handling myself. I was very lucky to have learned confidence and self reliance and had a personality that helped me not to get easily flustered.

I was sadly surprised to find that when uncle Mark and I were moving my dad out of our home on 35th St. in Camden that the newspaper declaring the first landing on the moon and my eighth grade year book that I had stashed away in the bottom drawer of the bureau in my old bedroom had been thrown away.

38 What is one of your earliest childhood memories?

Just little snippets of scenes.

Playing with blocks on the living room floor.

Helping my mom fold uncle marks diapers. I was five.

Uncle Mark coming home when he was a newborn.

I had repeated ear infections and in those days they would just do a myringotomy to let the puss out. The doctor did that when I was asleep in the hospital but because of the continued drainage he use some sort of suction machine in his office to suck more pus out and it was excruciatingly painful. Maybe I was around four or five.

39 What makes you happy?

What makes me happy is knowing, if I am asked the same question I posed to my mom when I thought she was old at the age of 80, that I will have the same reply as she did. My question to my mom was “Mom, doesn’t it bother you to be getting old? Her reply,”I have a lot to be thankful for.”

40 What is one of the strangest things you've ever eaten?

I have an image in my mind of helping my mom stuff squid with her delicious egg cheese and bread stuffing. I remember being a little grossed out at their pre-cooked form but when my mom was finished with them they were quite delicious. I don’t know that I ate the tentacles. They were too strange looking for me as I remember. I have the aluminum frying pan that she cook them in a nice tomato sauce base.

41 How did you figure out how to be a parent?

Observation. I was very lucky to be part of a very large extended family giving me the opportunity to observe all the different parenting styles of my aunts and uncles.

I grew up in a neighborhood with 33 row homes filled with baby boomers like me. The combination of the physical closeness and stability of the occupants of the homes led to a relative intimacy amongst the kids and the parents so I got to observe those  parenting styles as well. I hope I selected some of the better ones.

My parents.  If I were to say I only picked the better of my parents parenting styles and I would not be honest with myself. Having learned to forgive my parents for their mistakes I am finding it easier to forgive myself for mine.

42 What things are you proudest of in your life?

My mom bought me my classical guitar as an early Christmas present when I was 15. I am very proud that her faith and confidence in me were not misplaced. I spent much of the next summer in my room teaching myself how to play my guitar. That ended when I started working for my uncle at his grocery store at the end of that summer. But I never got over my love of learning.

I hope my faith in myself is not misplaced when I tell myself  I have done my best to stay positive and forgiving in my life‘s attitude.

43 Outside of class, what were you involved with in college?

Nothing in an organize structure. Just friends and daily living. I have no regrets in that decision except that maybe it put me on the waiting list at medical school instead of being at the front of the line.

44 What is one of the most beautiful places you've ever been?

Glacier national Park. Lake Mary is one of the greatest views in the world.

Hidden Lake at Logan Pass was also very spectacular. Unfortunately, I don't have or I can't find a good picture of it. Your question has led me to re-look at all those movies and pictures making sure they're in order and are scanned in properly. That project is still in the works. Though I didn't have a picture of hidden Lake let me review my journal entry about Hidden Lake.

Claudette picked to go up to hidden Lake Trail. Especially spectacular. I felt pulled up the trail. The sun light came across the top of the trail making me think you could see something on the other side. I actually ran much of the way not feeling very tired at all. I was rewarded with a view of the west side of the park having walked across the continental divide. Also a deep blue lake down below on the west side(Hidden Lake).

45 What was it like learning to drive?

Since my mom did not drive and my sister Joyce had moved out of the house by the time I was on my learning permit it was left to my dad. If I remember correctly he did a pretty good job and was pretty calm and patient with me. What was difficult was I had to learn right from the start on a stick shift. We had a 1960 Chevrolet Biscayne . There were bridges real close to our house that went over the railroad tracks. My dad would have me drive halfway up the bridge, stop the car and restart up the hill without sliding backwards. I guess there wasn’t a lot of traffic in those days. It was great training for our family trip to Chieti when I was driving that big Ford Transit. I vividly remember having to stop at a red light on a hill that seemed to go straight up. I was very proud that I started up again without rolling backwards into the car behind me. My father knew what he was doing.

Despite my very good training I was so nervous taking the drivers test.  I remember my foot shaking up and down on the clutch.

46 How did you get to school as a child?

My elementary school, H. C. Sharp , was 3.5 blocks away from my house. When I was in kindergarten I remember my mom walking me there but not too often because aunt Joyce who is four years older would be my escort. When I was a bit older I would walk with my neighborhood buddies of which there were quite a few. We would walk home for lunch.

I went to veterans memorial junior high school, now called veterans Memorial family school. It was .9 miles from my house. We would walk past the elementary school going to junior high school. There were a few of the neighborhood kids who went to Saint Anthony’s Catholic school which we passed a few blocks from the junior high school. It was our parish and church. I did go to church once in a while and I did go there for my catechism.

I went to Woodrow Wilson high school. It was in a different direction so we finally had a change of scenery. It was 1.3 miles from my home. Same group of guys and sometimes girls who walked to junior high school. Senior year was the only time that we regularly got a ride. Eddie Coyle’s mom would pack five or six of us into her car. Before that we always walked. It was a rare mom in my neighborhood who drove. There were no 2 car families.

Do you know what your first words were?

I don’t know anything about my first words.

More than once I remember my mom saying I did not start talking till I was three years old. She said I did not have anything important say until then.